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Atheist struggles to explain the pagan origins of Christmas to Fox News

more than words

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As the master spoke, I listened closely.

A close family friend had urged us to attend, so we drove to LA for this rare chance to hear H. H. Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj speak.

His followers consider him a living master and speak of him the same way people speak of Amma, the hugging saint. (NOTE: I saw Amma at this same Airport HIlton several years ago.)

I found both Amma & Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj to be inspiring individuals with powerful messages of peace of love.

But I felt nothing “special” from their presence.

I mean, I felt awe and respect on an intellectual level…but not the supernatural sensations or epiphanies that so many followers describe.

Maybe I’m not wired to respond to a guru? Or simply have not met the right one, yet?

His talk was about dealing with stress, but really his focus was about meditation as a tool to reconnect to our ever-present divine vibration. As he used words to describe an inexpressible experience, I came to a powerful realization: Words only go so far.

Words are symbols that, at best, can remind us of experiences we have had. But more often merely give vague glimpses of the actual experience being described.

The description of a juicy, cold watermelon on a hot summer day can summon an existing memory, but the experience of that verbal description is a far cry from experiencing the succulent fruit, itself.

As the Buddhist saying goes: The words are the finger pointing to the moon.

And after years of nontraditional study and practice, I am pretty clear on my intellectual understanding of basic spiritual ideas. Of course, I am always learning (and forgetting even more) so a daily practice is still mandatory. But I have read enough overlapping thoughts on Oneness, Love, & the Divine presence within to have a strong understanding of the concepts – regardless of the faith that is explaining them.

But as Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj explained the process of connecting to the divine through meditation, I became harshly aware that I was experiencing words.

My experience was in the intellectual realm – where I have had extensive experiences. I have heard many great thinkers discuss these ideas. In fact, I have tried to express them myself…many times.

The difference is that Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj’s words are just the pale echo of the True Experience he has been practicing, experiencing, and teaching for decades.

More and more I am finding myself bumping my head on the “word ceiling” of my spiritual path. Understanding the ideas *is* comforting and facilitates growth. But the words are separate from the experience.

In some areas, I have begun to experience more visceral “heart knowledge” as opposed to intellectual “head knowledge.” For example, I have no fear of death. This is not an intellectual conclusion, but a deep understanding I experience as Truth.

As Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Maharaj spoke, I became keenly aware of the difference between Truth & knowledge. I understand the knowledge he was sharing. But I do not have an experience of his Truth.

This awareness reinforces many lessons I have been confronted with lately surrounding my mind & body. My next spiritual steps need to be in the areas of experience. I need to get out of my head. I need to transcend the words.

It keeps coming back to Yoga and Meditation. And maybe a little Ecstatic Dance thrown in to keep me – literally – on my toes.

This feels like a big, scary unknown to me. It also feels like an exciting potential.

I know what I need to do. And I know I can’t wait for a guru, unicorn or eclipse to make it easier. I just need to develop the discipline and do it.

I feel like I should end this essay with something clever & insightful…but those would just be words.

-John, July 8, 2010

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